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What’s scarier than walking into a roomful of strangers?  I’ll tell you what: the anxiety that takes place before you actually walk into said room. Ever experienced that?  Ever notice how the nerves, jitters, worries, and negative self-talk that take place before a potentially stressful event or encounter are generally worse than the actual experience itself?  Performers, athletes, speakers, brain surgeons: they know this.  Some even thrive on it and leverage it.

I’m no psychologist or human behavior expert, but I do know about fright, fight, and flight. Often it’s easiest to choose the latter.  But that only results in more worrying. But wait!  Here’s a solution…

© NinaMalyna -

© NinaMalyna –

… an amazingly simple and effective tip my wise friend Dianna Amorde, author of Aha! Moments: When Intuition & Intellect Collide shared with me:  When you find yourself in an uneasy state of worry, take a moment, breathe, and say two simple words:  “I wonder ….”  Then finish the phrase with whatever is on your mind, preferably framing it in the positive.

For example:

  • I wonder who I’ll meet at the upcoming business luncheon?
  • I wonder what I can do to ace that presentation?
  • I wonder what Tom and I will say to each other to patch things up?
  • I wonder how I’ll get that blasted ink stain out of my favorite shirt?

You get the picture.  Try it right now with something that’s giving you fits. “I wonder…”

Something shifts. The mind calms. Possibilities begin to replace worries. Suddenly your fret-filled mind has something productive and positive to work on.  Solutions, ideas, and a more relaxed state of mind unfold.

Try it and see what happens. Use it when you’re making sales calls, interviewing for a new job, networking, settling your grandmother’s estate, potty training your new puppy, you name it. Let me know how it works for you.

Now… I wonder what exciting task I get to tackle next on my fun-filled To Do List.