No journalism class has ever suggested the use of “Hello! How are you doing?” as the ideal example of a gripping lead. But this isn’t journalism class. I’m offering a sincere “Hello! How are you doing?” because I mean it. I’m sitting here at my kitchen table, where I’ve been doing a lot of writing (and even painting) these days. (Yes, that’s my work you see here.) My dogs are peacefully snoozing at my feet, and I’m feeling pretty content overall. However…
Just a little sample of one of my Pandemic watercolors.
I freely admit that I miss human contact. So, I’m asking you with all sincerity, “How are you doing right now, in the midst of Week Number I-Can’t-Keep-Count-Anymore? How are you staying busy? What’s different? Worse? Better? What’s making you laugh, cry, worry, eat too many Doritos? What can I do for you to make things better?” (That’s your cue to call, email, simply leave a comment below. Please, I beseech you!)
Seriously, though…
As This Situation has unfolded, surreal and disorienting as it has been, I’ve seen and experienced some stellar examples of people who are taking extra care to stay busy, cheerful, supportive, and, yes, even socially connected. These Beacons of Light are doing things like:
- Making friendly phone calls: The kind that don’t have to be scheduled. There’s no agenda and for sure no selling. Just a simple call that says: “Hello, I was thinking about you. How are you? What’s new? Need anything?”
- Penning and sending a truly personal email (and not one that claims to be personal, but really isn’t. Geez, who do they think they are fooling?)
- Or better yet, writing a handwritten, snail mail note
- Stopping what they are doing for a quick (safe distance) chat
- Making sure anyone in their presence is left feeling better, lighter, warmer inside (even if we all have to sit or stand six feet apart and are running around looking like bank robbers)
All these simple social social graces seem all the more important in these uncertain times, don’t they? Or am I the only one?
When I’m out walking my dogs each morning and evening, I generally pass several neighbors who are also walking (and generally keeping a safe distance). I’m pleased – thrilled, actually – to discover that more than half of my fellow walkers are willing to offer (or at least return) a friendly wave, a hearty “Good morning!” or other greeting. Sometimes we even pause and chat for a few moments. It’s really lovely and brightens the day. Especially now.
I now know that the guy in the white t-shirt and blue shorts walks five miles every morning. Another adorable “little old man” (hah) walks for two and half hours each day. I know that the guy around the corner’s name is Bruce. His dog’s name is Harper. Down past his house there’s a big, friendly, and very regal Great Pyrenees whose name is Louie (or maybe it’s Louis, pronounced the French way). The guys that moved into and renovated the house that used to be just kind of “meh,” but now looks like something off HGTV, are Chad and Justin. I’ve lived in my home nearly 25 years and am meeting some of these folks for the very first time!
Then, in contrast, are the soul-shriveling, affected, fear-filled folks who are making sure to not only keep a safe distance, but to make sure no socialization whatsoever – not even eye contact – takes place. One couple I see several times a week goes to ridiculous extremes. Even from a very safe distance – we’re talking 50+ yards – they pull over onto the nearest yard, turn their backs to you (with hands firmly and authoritatively on hips) and remain in this “pose of protection” until I’m “safely” out of range. While part of me is amused by and sympathetic to this eccentric behavior, the other part of me feels…rejected. Even a little shunned.
Is anyone else out there having these experiences? Where social distancing is in some ways enhancing life, yet also making it sadder and lonely?
I’m wondering, what kind of Pandemic Persona are you choosing to take on? One who is rising up and making someone’s day brighter in some small, creative or even quirky way? (I like quirky, by the way!) Or one who is allowing this whole social distancing thing to get way out of hand? I’m trying very hard to be the former. Not perfect, for sure, but I’m trying. So along those lines…
Tonight, if it’s a pretty evening, I’m going to pour a glass of nice wine and drag a lounge chair out into my front driveway. I’m going to have a good brisk sit and see who walks by. I will wonder who I will see or meet and raise my glass to that person – from a safe distance, of course. I know I have many neighbors who I still need to meet. I can hopefully offer a greeting or funny quip that will make them glad they went out for an evening stroll.
What are you going to do? What has been working for you? Ideas welcome!
Patti,
Love your web site, emails and book…… thank you.
I am retired and an amateur magician, so once a week I send (to a select group of friends) an email with a youtube of my favorite magician friends performing and soon my own performances. Magic is a wonderful escape and as my ‘select group of friends’ grows over these weeks, I am comforted to know I am adding some enjoyment to people during this often dark days…keep up your wonderful work
Hello Mark and thank you for reading and for your kind comments. Wondering if you know Kent Cummins? He is a magician here in Austin. Seems like that would be a tight knit community. Love that you are using your talents to bring joy and moments of “wow!” to other people!
We’re walking very early — average departure time is 5:15am — from our downtown condo and have our masks firmly in place until we’ve passed the construction sites and favorite benches/doorways where the homeless overnight. Then, we thankfully whip them off so we can breathe and chat — however, as soon as we sight form of human life coming towards us, back we go into bank robber mode. We do make friendly waves — confession, sometimes not so friendly if runners coming towards us are not moving over– although keep moving. However, that little wave has got me connected to folks like the guy I’ve seen walking his little dog for the past 3 years and we’ve barely acknowledged each other until the pandemic. While I am fully on board with mask wearing, I do miss the opportunity to smile at people and have thought about making a little sign with a smiley face to hold up…
This sounds like a wonderful way to start the day, Julie! And I do wish the inconsiderate folks – regardless of whether they are being overly “safe” or totally ignoring the recommended social distancing protocol – will rethink what they are doing. It will be easier to get through This Thing if people can be nicer to each other and more respectful. It’s just being a Good Citizen! Great to hear from you, my friend!
We have been biking every morning through our community. Meet and or go by people and everyone always waves and says a cheery Good Morning. Milt has a little horn he honks and people wait for us to go by. If we miss a morning then its a where were you. wonder why we never did this before, I guess we were too busy
I love that you and Milt are going out on a little ride each morning, Peggy. And the horn! Funny! Little adventures are everything these days. Hoping you can continue this regimen for as long as you are South – and can come up with a new one when you arrive North. This three-mile-a-day thing I’m doing is definitely keeping us on our toes.
Thank you Patti, for a lovely reminder that we have a great opportunity to do something different and even better then we have in the past during this very unsettling and changing time!
I will be either working in my yard/garden or watering my plants. I don’t have to worry about social distancing with them, they always love me!!
Enjoy your time planting and nurturing your garden, Cynthia! Sounds wonderful and therapeutic. And I hope you are really going for it and TALKING to your plantings! Thanks for reading and sharing!
Hello Patti! Yes, walking has been the saving grace for me also, and I don’t even have a dog! And sending a lot more snail mail and birthday cards. Staying home, but facetiming with family and EATING non guilt-ily. Take care and keep inspiring us!
Hi Caren! Walking – and eating – yes!! Gotta have those little pleasures. I have to steer away from sugary treats these days – but I did get one of those chewy pecan pralines that you can get while standing in line at HEB today. Will nibble on it a bit at a time. Laaaaa!!! Great to hear from you and thanks for reading!
Hi Patti, This is a blast from way in the past. Here is my thought. I am the one who walks and enjoys the outdoors and makes eye contact with each person I meet along the way. I encounter the same types and it makes me wonder as well. If meeting someone on the path, I will give them plenty of space, they typically acknowledge my gesture, smile, and wave, and some have said thank you. I seldom have those who run and turn their back on me. What I do see a lot of are those that push the limits on appropriate space…as if to challenge your preference. They don’t budge an inch. Maybe a jogger who zooms by within a foot or two…never announcing “passing on the left”. Regardless, there are all kinds of folks out there, handling this situation the way they feel is right for them. For me, it comes down to respecting their choice to handle this pandemic the way they feel is right for them. What I ask in return is that they respect my choice. So, I guess that even though the couple may run and hide behind a tree to keep from being anywhere close to me…I much prefer that to the jogger or walker who seems to not respect my preferences for social distancing. All and all, we seem to be in a very polarized world…and not just politically. There is a “my way, or the highway” attitude that makes the worst of these types of situations. This is way too deep of a comment…and if I see you on the trail one day, you can bet that I will want to know what the heck you have been doing for all these years. 🙂 I will always remember what a terrific writer you are. Best to you.
Hello Don! So great to hear from you and thanks for reading and commenting. I so agree! Respect should be added to the list. With freedom of choice comes responsibility to not harm others. Appreciate your kind words about my writing. Doing a lot of that these day, but on my second book and of course an occasional blog. Take care, you!